PROJECT: CATFISHING, GASLIGHTING, AND MANIPULATION IN RELATIONSHIPS

Isabel Spies
Nov 10
5 min read

PLEASE SHARE THIS PUBLIC DOCUMENT

An anonymous client of Specialised Security Services (SSS) has reported a deeply troubling case involving their son,

who became the victim of an elaborate deception and manipulation scheme through an online dating platform.

The case highlights the psychological, financial, and reputational damage that such crimes cause,

while exposing the complexity of manipulation tactics frequently used by perpetrators to exploit and control their victims.

THE CASE:

The client’s son met a woman on a popular dating platform, Tinder.
Initially, this woman presented herself as a kind, struggling single mother seeking companionship.
Over a period of three months, she persuaded him to provide her with financial assistance under various pretexts.
Once she had established trust, she moved into his home with her young child.
After moving in, her behaviour rapidly changed.
She began borrowing money both from the victim and his parent, and soon her conduct became verbally and physically abusive.
When confronted or challenged, she would resort to false accusations — claiming that she was the one being abused.
These accusations were then spread across the local community and social media, severely damaging the victim’s reputation.
According to the client, this woman has followed a similar pattern in previous relationships — entering the lives of financially stable or compassionate individuals, exploiting them emotionally and financially, and then fleeing once her deceit is discovered.
Each time, she relocates and restarts the cycle, presenting herself as a victim to gain sympathy and protection.

DEFINITIONS:

CATFISHING:

Catfishing refers to the act of creating a false identity online, typically to deceive someone for financial gain, emotional manipulation, or other malicious purposes.
In this case, the perpetrator misrepresented her intentions and fabricated aspects of her life to manipulate the victim into a relationship and financial dependency.

GASLIGHTING:

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic in which the perpetrator causes the victim to doubt their own memory, perception, or sanity.
The woman’s strategy — alternating between affection and aggression, then blaming the victim when confronted — is a classic example.
By constantly shifting blame and distorting facts, she maintained control and weakened the victim’s confidence.

EMOTIONAL AND FINANCIAL ABUSE:

This case also constitutes emotional and financial abuse.
The victim was systematically manipulated into providing money under false pretences and subjected to humiliation, fear, and coercion.
Financial exploitation in intimate relationships is often a form of control — where dependency replaces genuine affection.

DEFAMATION AND FALSE ACCUSATIONS:

Spreading false information or accusations about someone — such as claiming domestic abuse without evidence — constitutes defamation.
In South Africa, defamation is both a civil wrong and, in some cases, can form part of criminal conduct under laws relating to crimen injuria (unlawfully impairing someone’s dignity).

THE LEGAL CONTEXT:

Under South African law, several offences may apply in such cases:
- FRAUD:
  - Misrepresentation for financial gain, including deceit through false identities or fabricated stories.
- ASSAULT:
  - Any physical harm or threat of harm inflicted on another person.
- DEFAMATION AND CRIMEN INJURIA:
  - Making false allegations that harm another’s reputation or dignity.
- CYBERCRIME:
  - Under the Cybercrimes Act 19 of 2020, online deception, harassment, or dissemination of false information can lead to criminal prosecution.
Victims are advised to preserve all communication records, such as messages, screenshots, and financial transactions, as crucial evidence in pursuing legal remedies.

PREVENTION AND AWARENESS:

Specialised Security Services (SSS) stresses the importance of education and vigilance regarding online relationships.
Individuals should:
- Verify identities before forming emotional or financial attachments online.
- Avoid financial transactions or “emergency loans” to online acquaintances.
- Document all interactions when red flags arise, including messages or unusual requests.
- Seek immediate professional help from law enforcement, attorneys, or private investigation experts such as SSS when manipulation, abuse, or threats occur.
- Report and block perpetrators on all digital platforms to prevent further contact or harassment.

IMPACT:

Catfishing and gaslighting cases have far-reaching social consequences.
Beyond the emotional trauma and financial losses, victims often endure public humiliation due to false accusations.
This discourages others from coming forward, allowing perpetrators to continue their patterns unchecked.
Furthermore, when children are involved, as in this case, the manipulation extends to custody conflicts and potential child endangerment, raising serious ethical and welfare concerns.

This case underscores the devastating effects of emotional manipulation, deception, and false accusations in the digital age. The anonymous client’s testimony serves as a warning to the public about the real dangers of online fraud

and relationship-based exploitation.

Specialised Security Services continues to investigate and expose such patterns of abuse, providing victims with professional guidance, legal support, and proactive strategies to protect themselves and their loved ones.

Specialised Security Services invites the public to the Mike Bolhuis Daily Projects WhatsApp Channel.

This channel is important in delivering insights into the latest crime trends, awareness, warnings and the exposure of criminals.

How to Join the WhatsApp Channel:

1. Make sure you have the latest version of WhatsApp on your device.

2. Click on the link below to join the Mike Bolhuis Daily Projects WhatsApp Channel:

- https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VarjftF8PgsI4pODE929

3. Follow the prompts to join the channel.

4. Make sure you click on "Follow", then click on the "bell"-icon (🔔)

CONTACT MR MIKE BOLHUIS FOR SAFETY AND SECURITY MEASURES, PROTECTION, OR AN INVESTIGATION IF NEEDED.

ALL INFORMATION RECEIVED WILL BE TREATED IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENTIALITY AND EVERY IDENTITY WILL BE PROTECTED.

Regards,

Mike Bolhuis

Specialist Investigators into

Serious Violent, Serious Economic Crimes & Serious Cybercrimes

PSIRA Reg. 1590364/421949

Mobile: +27 82 447 6116

E-mail: mike@mikebolhuis.co.za

Fax: 086 585 4924

Follow us on Facebook to view our projects -

https://www.facebook.com/MikeBolhuisOfficial

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: All potential clients need to be aware that owing to the nature of our work as specialist investigators there are people who have been caught on the wrong side of the law - who are trying to discredit me - Mike Bolhuis and my organisation Specialised Security Services - to get themselves off the hook. This retaliation happens on social media and creates doubt about our integrity and ability. Doubt created on social media platforms is both unwarranted and untrue. We strongly recommend that you make up your minds concerning me and our organisation only after considering all the factual information - to the exclusion of hearsay and assumptions. Furthermore, you are welcome to address your concerns directly with me should you still be unsatisfied with your conclusions. While the internet provides a lot of valuable information, it is also a platform that distributes a lot of false information. The distribution of false information, fake news, slander and hate speech constitutes a crime that can be prosecuted by law. Your own research discretion and discernment are imperative when choosing what and what not to believe.

STANDARD RULES APPLY: Upon appointment, we require a formal mandate with detailed instructions. Please take note that should you not make use of our services – you may not under any circumstance use my name or the name of my organisation as a means to achieve whatever end.

POPI ACT 4 of 2013 South Africa: Mike Bolhuis' "Specialised Security Services" falls under Section 6 of the act. Read more here: https://mikebh.link/fntdpv