PROJECT: MALE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
- Isabel Spies
- Nov 3
- 5 min read
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An anonymous client of Specialised Security Services (SSS) has shared a distressing and underreported case of domestic violence — one that exposes a deeply rooted societal silence: the physical and psychological abuse of men by female partners. While public attention often focuses on violence against women, this case highlights that men, too, can become victims of manipulation, assault, and defamation, and that these crimes carry severe personal and social consequences.
Recent research, including the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) 2022 National Gender-Based Violence Study, indicates that approximately 10.6% of South African men report experiencing physical violence from a partner or another male, while 15–20% report sexual abuse before the age of 18.
These figures suggest that male victims represent a substantial portion of GBV cases, though many incidents remain unreported.
CASE:
The client’s son was subjected to repeated physical assaults and ongoing psychological abuse by his female partner.
What began as a seemingly caring relationship quickly turned into a pattern of control, manipulation, and intimidation.
The perpetrator used emotional coercion, public humiliation, and financial exploitation to maintain power.
When confronted, she would react violently — screaming, throwing objects, or physically attacking him.
Whenever he tried to defend himself or remove her from his home, she would claim to others that he was the abuser.
These false allegations were then spread through local communities and social media, damaging his reputation and isolating him from support networks.
According to the client, this woman had a history of similar behaviour — forming relationships with compassionate or financially stable men, exploiting them, then falsely accusing them of abuse once her deceit was uncovered.
This case represents a broader issue within South Africa and globally:
the invisibility of male victims and the societal reluctance to accept that women can also be perpetrators of domestic violence.
UNDERSTANDING THE ABUSE:
1. PHYSICAL ABUSE:
Physical abuse against men includes hitting, scratching, kicking, or throwing objects — acts often dismissed as minor because of stereotypes about male strength.
However, injuries and trauma can be both physical and psychological.
Many men refrain from reporting such assaults due to shame, fear of disbelief, or concern that the justice system will not take them seriously.
2. EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE:
Psychological abuse, often through gaslighting, causes victims to doubt their perceptions and sanity.
The abuser alternates between affection and cruelty, using guilt, manipulation, or emotional blackmail to maintain control.
3. FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND DEFAMATION:
A particularly destructive form of abuse involves false allegations of domestic violence.
In this case, the perpetrator weaponised social sympathy and gender bias, portraying herself as a helpless victim to gain community support while destroying the victim’s reputation.
4. FINANCIAL EXPLOITATION:
The abuser also borrowed money and manipulated her partner into financial dependency.
This is a recognised form of economic abuse under the Domestic Violence Act 116 of 1998, used to exert control and erode the victim’s independence.
THE LEGAL CONTEXT:
South African law recognises that domestic violence affects individuals of all genders.
The Domestic Violence Act defines abuse broadly — including physical, emotional, psychological, verbal, and economic harm — and allows any person, regardless of gender, to apply for a protection order.
Relevant legal provisions include:
ASSAULT AND ASSAULT GBH:
Physical attacks can lead to criminal charges under the Criminal Law Act.
DEFAMATION AND CRIMEN INJURIA:
False allegations or public humiliation can result in both civil and criminal action.
CYBERCRIMES ACT 19 of 2020:
Online harassment, stalking, or spreading false information is punishable by law.
PROTECTION ORDERS:
Victims can approach a magistrate’s court to obtain immediate legal protection, including the removal of the abuser from a shared residence.
Despite these laws, male victims often face additional barriers due to bias, ridicule, or fear that their complaints will not be taken seriously — a gap that SSS seeks to bridge through its specialised intervention and investigative work.
WHY MALE VICTIMS SUFFER IN SILENCE:
Research and real-world cases handled by Specialised Security Services reveal that men seldom report domestic violence because of:
Social stigma and masculinity expectations leading to embarrassment or disbelief.
Fear of bias by police or courts, assuming that the male partner is the aggressor.
Emotional manipulation, including threats of false accusations or child custody disputes.
Lack of male-oriented support structures, such as shelters or counselling networks.
This silence allows perpetrators to continue unchecked, often repeating the same pattern with new partners and leaving a trail of emotional, financial, and reputational damage.
PREVENTION AND EARLY INTERVENTION:
Recognise red flags early — controlling behaviour, isolation tactics, or aggressive outbursts.
Avoid financial entanglement with partners who manipulate or guilt them into lending money.
Document every incident — keep screenshots, receipts, and witness accounts.
Report abuse immediately and consult professionals like SSS for guidance.
Protect digital privacy and limit social media exposure to prevent defamation.
This case, shared by an anonymous client of Specialised Security Services, underscores that domestic violence knows no gender. Men can be victims too, and their suffering is just as real, just as painful, and just as deserving of justice.
False accusations, physical aggression, and emotional manipulation destroy lives, reputations, and families.
Through evidence-based investigations, professional guidance, and public education,
Specialised Security Services continues to champion truth, fairness, and protection for all victims of domestic abuse.
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