AWARENESS PROJECT: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO RECOGNISING AND PREVENTING THE DANGER OF GROOMING (PART 3)
- Isabel Spies
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
PLEASE SHARE THIS PUBLIC DOCUMENT
Please refer to our initial project for more context:
Specialised Security Services again emphasise that grooming is a calculated, step-by-step process used to gain trust,
influence, and control before any harmful action is taken. It rarely appears threatening at first.
Instead, it is often disguised as kindness, mentorship, protection, or opportunity.
EARLY WARNING BEHAVIOURS:
In the initial stages, the groomer may:
Offer gifts, favours, or special attention.
Act as a mentor, helper, or protector.
Provide access to opportunities, resources, or status.
Position themselves as the "only one who understands" the individual.
These actions create emotional dependency.
Targets may feel grateful, loyal, or indebted, while boundaries are gradually tested and shifted—small steps that seem harmless at first.
ESCALATION OF GROOMING:
As the process continues, the groomer may:
Isolate the target from family, peers, or oversight.
Normalise secrecy with phrases like, “others wouldn’t understand.”
Use guilt, fear, or obligation to maintain control.
Reframe harmful actions as care, discipline, or love.
By the time harm becomes evident, victims often feel:
Confused about what is normal.
Afraid of speaking out.
Responsible for the situation.
Silenced by shame, loyalty, or fear.
KEY WARNING SIGNS FOR COMMUNITIES:
Unequal power combined with secrecy.
Excessive personal involvement disguised as support.
Gradual boundary violations.
Patterns of isolation or manipulation.
Pressure to keep interactions private.
PREVENTION:
1. EDUCATION AND AWARENESS:
Teach children, adolescents, and vulnerable adults what grooming is, using age-appropriate language.
Clearly explain personal boundaries, consent, and the right to say no—even to authority figures.
Reinforce that kindness with secrecy is a warning sign, not a privilege.
Provide regular training for parents, caregivers, teachers, coaches, and volunteers.
2. CLEAR BOUNDARIES AND CODES OF CONDUCT:
Establish written codes of conduct for adults working with minors or vulnerable persons.
Prohibit private, unsupervised one-on-one interactions where possible.
Ban secret communications, gifts, or favours without parental or organisational knowledge.
Enforce rules around physical contact, digital communication, and transport.
3. MULTI-ADULT OVERSIGHT:
Implement a two-adult rule in schools, sports, faith, and community settings.
Rotate supervision duties to prevent dependency on a single individual.
Ensure no individual holds unchecked authority or exclusive access.
4. DIGITAL SAFETY CONTROLS:
Monitor device usage, social media platforms, gaming chats, and messaging apps.
Apply privacy settings, parental controls, and content filters.
Prohibit adults from private messaging minors outside approved platforms.
Educate families and seniors about online scams, impersonation, and emotional manipulation.
5. OPEN COMMUNICATION CULTURE:
Encourage regular, judgment-free conversations about experiences, concerns, and discomfort.
Assure children and vulnerable adults that they will not be blamed for speaking up.
Normalise reporting, even when there is uncertainty or doubt.
6. EARLY INTERVENTION AND REPORTING:
Treat behavioural changes and boundary violations seriously, even if they seem minor.
Document concerns, patterns, and interactions.
Report suspicions promptly to appropriate authorities or trusted professionals.
Avoid confronting suspected groomers directly without guidance.
7. PROTECTION OF THE ELDERLY AND VULNERABLE ADULTS:
Monitor new “helpers,” caregivers, or online contacts.
Be alert to sudden changes in finances, wills, communication habits, or emotional dependency.
Encourage independent verification of advice, requests, or offers of assistance.
Educate seniors on emotional grooming and social engineering tactics.
8. ENVIRONMENTAL AND STRUCTURAL CONTROLS:
Design physical spaces to reduce isolation (open doors, visibility, CCTV where lawful).
Limit access to private rooms and unsupervised transport.
Maintain attendance logs, visitor registers, and communication records.
9. ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONSEQUENCES:
Act decisively when boundaries are crossed.
Suspend access pending investigation where risk exists.
Cooperate fully with law enforcement and child protection services.
Ensure victims are supported while investigations proceed.
10. REINFORCING THE CORE SAFETY MESSAGE:
Teach consistently:
Discomfort is a warning signal.
Secrecy is not protection.
Authority does not override safety.
Grooming thrives in silence and confusion.
It fails when there is awareness, transparency, and shared responsibility.
If you are a victim of grooming or suspect that a loved one is being groomed,
contact Mr. Mike Bolhuis immediately.
Mr. Bolhuis will:
Respect and protect your privacy at all times.
Guide you to the appropriate authorities and support services.
Ensure that you or your loved one receives the necessary help, intervention, and protection.
ALL INFORMATION RECEIVED WILL BE TREATED IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENTIALITY AND EVERY IDENTITY WILL BE PROTECTED.
Specialised Security Services invites the public to the Mike Bolhuis Daily Projects WhatsApp Channel.
This channel is important in delivering insights into the latest crime trends, awareness, warnings and the exposure of criminals.
How to Join the WhatsApp Channel:
1. Make sure you have the latest version of WhatsApp on your device.
2. Click on the link below to join the Mike Bolhuis Daily Projects WhatsApp Channel:
3. Follow the prompts to join the channel.
4. Make sure you click on "Follow", then click on the "bell"-icon (🔔)
CONTACT MR MIKE BOLHUIS FOR SAFETY AND SECURITY MEASURES, PROTECTION, OR AN INVESTIGATION IF NEEDED.
Regards,
Mike Bolhuis
Specialist Investigators into
Serious Violent, Serious Economic Crimes & Serious Cybercrimes
PSIRA Reg. 1590364/421949
Mobile: +27 82 447 6116
E-mail: mike@mikebolhuis.co.za
Fax: 086 585 4924
Follow us on Facebook to view our projects -
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: All potential clients need to be aware that owing to the nature of our work as specialist investigators there are people who have been caught on the wrong side of the law - who are trying to discredit me - Mike Bolhuis and my organisation Specialised Security Services - to get themselves off the hook. This retaliation happens on social media and creates doubt about our integrity and ability. Doubt created on social media platforms is both unwarranted and untrue. We strongly recommend that you make up your minds concerning me and our organisation only after considering all the factual information - to the exclusion of hearsay and assumptions. Furthermore, you are welcome to address your concerns directly with me should you still be unsatisfied with your conclusions. While the internet provides a lot of valuable information, it is also a platform that distributes a lot of false information. The distribution of false information, fake news, slander and hate speech constitutes a crime that can be prosecuted by law. Your own research discretion and discernment are imperative when choosing what and what not to believe.
STANDARD RULES APPLY: Upon appointment, we require a formal mandate with detailed instructions. Please take note that should you not make use of our services – you may not under any circumstance use my name or the name of my organisation as a means to achieve whatever end.
POPI ACT 4 of 2013 South Africa: Mike Bolhuis' "Specialised Security Services" falls under Section 6 of the act. Read more here: https://mikebh.link/fntdpv
SSS TASK TEAM:
Copyright © 2015- PRESENT | Mike Bolhuis Specialised Security Services | All rights reserved.
Our mailing address is:
Mike Bolhuis Specialised Security Services
PO Box 15075 Lynn East
Pretoria, Gauteng 0039
South Africa
Add us to your address book
THIS PUBLIC DOCUMENT WAS INTENDED TO BE SHARED, PLEASE DO SO.
