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Dating sites are platforms where individuals seek companionship, relationships, or casual encounters. They can also be fertile grounds for a variety of online threats, including sextortion. Sextortion involves manipulating victims into providing sexual images or engaging in sexual acts, which are then used as leverage for extortion.


Here is how sextortion may occur on dating sites:

  • Fake Profiles: 

    • Scammers create fake profiles on dating sites, often using attractive photos and compelling profiles to lure in potential victims.

    • They pretend to be someone else to gain the trust of their targets.

  • Building Trust: 

    • Scammers invest time building rapport with their targets, engaging in conversations and establishing a sense of connection.

    • They use flattery, empathy, and shared interests to foster trust and intimacy.

  • Transition to Sexting: 

    • Once trust is established, scammers initiate conversations of a sexual nature or request explicit photos or videos from their victims.

    • They manipulate or pressure individuals into sending compromising material, often under the guise of mutual attraction or trust.

  • Threats and Coercion: 

    • Scammers use these images and coversations as leverage for extortion.

    • After obtaining compromising material they demand money.

    • They may threaten to distribute the images or videos to the victim's friends, family, or colleagues via social media platforms - if the victim refuses to pay.

    • The threat of public humiliation or damage to reputation can be highly coercive, forcing victims into compliance.

  • Financial Demands: 

    • Scammers may demand payment in various forms, such as money transfers, cryptocurrency, or gift cards, in exchange for not releasing the material or for deleting it.

    • Victims may feel compelled to comply with these demands out of fear of repercussions.

  • Manipulative Tactics: 

    • Scammers often employ manipulative tactics to maintain control over their victims.

    • This can include emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or further threats of harm if victims refuse to comply with their demands.

  • Repeat Offenses: 

    • Unfortunately, even if victims comply with the initial demands, scammers may continue to extort them, exploiting their fear and vulnerability for financial gain.


Categories or types of platforms where sextortion may occur are rife. It is important to emphasise that sextortion can potentially happen on any platform where individuals interact online, it is not limited to dating sites. 

  • Mainstream Dating Sites: 

    • These are popular dating platforms where individuals seek various types of relationships, from casual encounters to long-term commitments.

    • Examples include Tinder, OkCupid,, and Bumble.

  • Adult Dating Sites: 

    • These platforms cater to individuals seeking more explicit or adult-oriented encounters.

    • While some may operate legitimately, others may have a higher risk of scams and sextortion owing to the nature of their content.

    • Examples include AdultFriendFinder, Ashley Madison, and Fling.

  • Social Media Platforms: 

    • While not specifically dating sites, social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat can also be used for dating and socialising.

    • Scammers may create fake profiles or engage in direct messaging to initiate sextortion schemes.

  • Chat and Messaging Apps: 

    • Messaging apps such as WhatsApp, Kik, and Telegram provide private communication channels that scammers may exploit for sextortion.

    • They initiate conversations, build rapport, and manipulate victims into sharing compromising material.

  • Online Forums and Communities: 

    • Niche forums, chat rooms, and online communities focused on specific interests or fetishes may also be susceptible to sextortion schemes.

    • Users should exercise caution when interacting with strangers in these spaces.


The emotional impact of sextortion on victims of dating sites are profound and long-lasting, causing a range of distressing emotions and psychological effects.

  • Fear and Anxiety: 

    • Victims of sextortion often experience intense fear and anxiety about the potential consequences of the scam.

    • They fear that having their private photos or videos exposed to friends, family, or colleagues, will lead to humiliation, social stigma, or damage their reputation.

    • The uncertainty of how the situation will unfold can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and distress.

  • Shame and Embarrassment: 

    • Victims of sextortion may feel deep shame and embarrassment about their involvement in the scam, particularly if they were coerced into sharing explicit images or engaging in sexual behaviour.

    • They may blame themselves for falling victim to the scam or worry about judgment from others if the material is released.

  • Guilt and Self-Blame: 

    • Victims often feel guilty and self-blame for their actions, even though they were manipulated or coerced by the scammer.

    • They may question their own judgment, feel responsible for the situation, or worry about the impact on their relationships with others.

  • Depression and Despair: 

    • Sextortion can trigger feelings of depression, hopelessness, and despair in victims.

    • The loss of control over their personal information and the fear of the consequences can lead to a sense of powerlessness and overwhelm them.

    • Victims struggle to cope with the emotional fallout of the scam and may experience symptoms of depression such as sadness, lethargy, and loss of interest in activities.

  • Trauma and PTSD: 

    • For some victims, sextortion results in psychological trauma similar to that experienced by survivors of physical or sexual violence.

    • The experience of being coerced or threatened by the scammer, coupled with the fear of exposure and social rejection, can lead to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including flashbacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance.

  • Trust Issues: 

    • Sextortion erodes victims' trust in others and in online interactions.

    • They may become wary of forming new relationships or sharing personal information online, for fear of being exploited or betrayed again.

    • This can lead to social withdrawal and isolation as victims struggle to rebuild their sense of safety and security.

Overall, the emotional impact of sextortion on victims of dating sites can be devastating, affecting their mental health, relationships, and sense of self-worth. It is crucial for victims to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals and to take steps to protect themselves from further harm.


Education is paramount, and it is critical to be aware of the signs of potential scams, such as requests for explicit material, financial transactions, or threats of exposure. Report suspicious behaviour and seek support if you believe your identity has been compromised and have been targeted. Additionally, general online safety practices, such as protecting personal information and verifying the identity of individuals before sharing sensitive content, can help prevent sextortion incidents.


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Mike Bolhuis

Specialist Investigators into

Serious Violent, Serious Economic Crimes & Serious Cybercrimes

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